


Hit the Air

by lovewithoutanxiety



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/F, M/M, Major Character Injury
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-04-20
Updated: 2013-04-20
Packaged: 2017-12-09 00:25:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/767834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovewithoutanxiety/pseuds/lovewithoutanxiety
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Even after the Reaper War is won, Earth remains in chaos. Millions are homeless, and shipments of food and medical supplies can't come in fast enough to meet demand. When Commander Shepard and Lieutenant Cortez are briefly reunited in an overcrowded hospital, the Commander's meddling Asari doctor takes it upon herself to give their love a fighting chance. Includes some F/F.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> If you are wondering why EDI is still around, it gets explained in a later chapter. Thank you for reading!

"Paging Dr. Melfisa."

Dr. Bei Melfisa's omni-tool lit up at the summons. She took one look and said to her colleagues, "Sorry, I've got to go. My VIP's awake."

She had been in a meeting with roughly a dozen of her colleagues. A few other physicians smiled at her, but most narrowed their eyes. She pretended to ignore it as she left the room. As one of only few Asari doctors on Earth, and the only one at this hospital, she had learned to harden her heart to human jealousy and prejudice. Or at least to act as if she had.

She took the elevator to Level 17, submitting to a quick retinal scan along the way. That was how tight security had to be these days. Then she strode down to Room 32 and tapped on the door, which slid open in response. She fixed on a placid smile and said, "How are we doing today, Commander?"

Bei did not expect a response. The patient had been in a coma for several days, and even now, in his sporadic moments of consciousness, he gave no indication that he was aware of his surroundings. She had never heard him speak.

Until today.

"N..." The voice was hoarse, barely above a whisper, and it startled Bei. She forgot the readouts that she had been about to examine and went to her patient's bedside.

"It's alright, Commander Shepard," she assured him. "You are in the First London Alliance Military Hospital, and I am your attending physician, Dr. Bei Melfisa."

"Nor..."

The Asari thought quickly. "Normandy? You're asking about the Normandy?"

She was rewarded with a nod, if a faint one. Bei smiled. She was nothing if not over-prepared for every situation.

"Word is they made an emergency landing on a garden planet, but they're about to depart. Destination Earth." She produced a data pad from her hip. "I have the ship's manifest here. You don't want to know what kind rigmarole a civilian doctor has to go through to get something like this," she said with a wink. "Shall I... operate it for you?"

Shepard's right index finger twitched, as if he was testing his hands. Then he gave another slight nod.

Bei held the data pad a comfortable distance from Shepard's face and started scrolling through the names. She didn't know what kind of reaction to expect—she had no idea how this list differed from what it had been before the final strike on earth. Other doctors would never do something so reckless. But the way Bei saw it, this man needed something to help him wake up—even if that something included pain.

 _I should be taking notes on his progress_ , Bei thought to herself.

Shepard's eyes flicked over the list of names. Then widened. "Lieu-"

He stopped, choking on his own breath. The heart rate monitor gave a cry of alarm. That look of awareness receded from Shepard, leaving in its place only animal fear.

Dr. Melfisa hit the command panel to administer 50ccs of Savarphin. Shepard stiffened, then slumped. His eyes were closed, now. Bei finally released the breath she'd been holding all the while.

 _That was some stunt, Bei_ , she mentally reprimanded herself. _Better not emphasize this in my report. Better start working on my report._

And then,

_Who is Lu?_

* * *

"Joker. Can I have a minute of your time?" asked Liara, approaching the Normandy's cockpit.

"Can I take a raincheck? Sometime when I'm not trying to take off after a crash, maybe?" Joker sniped back.

"I have time for you, Liara," said EDI, turning and smiling. "And I would argue that I am just as involved in the takeoff process as Jeff here."

"But you're—but I—fine." Joker looked back over his shoulder. "How can I help you, Liara?"

"It's a request from Shepard's doctor on Earth. ...Right, I thought that might get your attention."

Joker looked like he would he stood up if he could. "What's the news?"

Liara shook her head. "No news. Critical condition, but we already knew that. But he asked for someone who used to be on this ship. A 'Lou' or something like that. Joker, you've been on the Normandy the longest. Who do you think he's talking about?"

Joker looked at his hands. "I don't know about that," he said.

"Might it not be short for 'Lieutenant'?" EDI interjected.

"That was my first thought, too. We are missing a flight lieutenant. But... he kept to himself. None of us knew him that well," said Liara.

"But that's exactly the kind of person Shepard is!" declared Joker. "We heard Cortez go down over radio. Shepard saw the crash. So when he wakes up, does the Commander rejoice in the fact that he's just saved the whole fucking universe? No way! He agonizes over the death of the guy who flew the shuttle."

"Ahem," said EDI. The organics looked at her. "...Neither of you are aware?"

"Aware of what, EDI?" asked Joker.

The AI paused for a moment before replying, "The Commander frequently visited the shuttle bay while Flight Lieutenant Cortez was there. It seems likely they... struck up a friendship."

"Just like him," Joker decided. "He didn't take anybody on the ship for granted."

Liara stole a suspicious glance at EDI. "Cortez isn't necessarily dead," she pointed out.

Joker shook his head. "We'll do right by his memory, Liara. We've gotten pretty good at that. Anyway, I guess this means the commander isn't speaking in full words yet."

"I guess that's what it means."

A short silence descended upon them.

"He'll make a full recovery," declared Liara. "He's gotten pretty good at _that._ " She heaved a breath. "Well. I'd better let you get back to it." She started to turn around.

"Wait, wait!" said Joker. "One more thing."

"Yes?"

"How'd you hear all this?"

"Beg pardon?"

"Shepard's doctor wouldn't happen to be Asari, or anything?"

"What? ...Oh, Joker!" Liara shot a frown at him. "For the last time, there is no 'Asari Phone Tree'! Give it a rest already!"

Lu?And with that, Liara stormed out of the cockpit, completely forgetting her suspicion that EDI had been hiding something.

* * *

"Dr. Melfisa," asked Dr. John Waits, "to what do I owe the pleasure?"

He was not smiling as he said this. Bei bowed her head. She knew this could seem like an invasion of territory—she was not assigned to Wing F and had no official business there. "I know this is is an unusual request, but I was wondering if I could talk to one of your patients. He might be able to fill in some medical history for one of mine."

Dr. Waits nodded. He and Bei were both Chief Residents of their respective wings—hers, head trauma, and his, amputations and prosthetics. He knew that many of her patients could not speak for themselves, and he didn't bother asking which one. Instead, he brought up his omni-tool and asked, "Patient ID?"

"AF34890-8," she rattled off.

"He's in room 47, recovering from morning surgery. Don't know if you'll get the answers you're looking for, but you're welcome to try."

Room 47, it turned out, was a double. Around the bed nearest to the door, the curtain was drawn, but Bei could hear well enough to know that she didn't want to see. Choking sobs, a young woman calling for her mother and father, and the hushed voice of a young man: "You know they're with us right now. They're watching and protecting you. They're—they're so proud, Linda. Everyone is so proud of you" —a swallow— "and we're going to get through this together."

The next bed was quiet.

Just a man, lying awake in bed. Expressionless. Staring at the ceiling. Bei froze when she saw him. It wasn't the sight of his injuries that made her nerve waver—she had seen far, far worse, especially these last few days—but the fact that she was about to intrude on someone's private affairs. It wasn't too late to change her mind. But Bei strengthened her resolve. She had a chance, here, to bring some peace to the man who'd brought peace to the universe. She wasn't going to waste it.

"Lieutenant Steven Cortez?" she asked. The man nodded without looking at her. She took a few brave steps forward. His condition did not look so bad, actually, from what she could see. Some scratches on his face and arms, bruising too. Of course, there was the uneven lump underneath the bedsheets, and she knew from his file that the amputation surgery had not spared enough nerve tissue to make an artificial leg a viable option. Still, he was probably going to be released soon.

No, Bei could not waste this chance.

"Go ahead. What bad news do you have for me this time?" said the man, without any humor.

"I don't know if this is good or bad news," Bei admitted, "but I'm Dr. Bei Melfisa am the physician attending to Commander Shepard."

For the first time, Cortez looked at Bei. "What happened?" He pressed a button by his bedside, and the steel bedframe began to bend at its hinge until Cortez was sitting upright.

"You were on the Normandy with him, correct?"

"Yes. Now tell me what happened," Cortez insisted, suddenly seeming to come to life.

"He's recovering," said Bei, to the lieutenant's visible relief. "It might not seem like much, but four days ago, he was in a coma, and now, he can communicate—just barely."

Cortez was silent for a moment. Then, "Thank you," he said. "It's hard to get reliable news around here. I've heard rumors, but... thank you."

Bei smiled at him. "To think that you were in the same hospital all along. I had to do some major digging to—but that's another story. Anyway, I asked the commander if he'd like to for you to visit. He said yes."

"Yes?" Cortez repeated, his voice taking on a new tone. "When can I see him? Can I see him now?"

"Now?" asked Bei. "He's awake, but are you up to the trek?"

The lieutenant glanced at the space where his missing leg should have been. "A vidcom might be a better option.

Bei winced. "I'm afraid it wouldn't work. The commander's voice box has been damaged; he can barely make a sound. And he can hardly move. He communicates with his fingers: right finger twitch means yes, left finger means no. It just wouldn't come through on vid."

"And that's 'progress'?"

Bei nodded gravely.

"Well, I guess that means... I need to find myself a wheelchair."


	2. Chapter 2

"Commander Shepard? You have a guest. Come in, Lieutenant."

A nurse pushed Cortez's wheelchair into position while Dr. Melfisa lowered the patient's bed. Then she put his hands in his lap, where Cortez would be able to see them both. "Are you comfortable, Commander? Shall I elevate your head a little more?"

Right finger squeeze. A yes. She did so, and Shepard had just enough muscle control to turn his head toward Steven Cortez.

"Commander," said the Lieutenant.

Shepard's lips moved, but not a sound came out.

"I'm going to give you two some space," Bei decided. "Lieutenant, if you want some help getting back to your room, just hit the call button, alright?"

She left before Cortez had a chance to respond. After the doors closed behind her, she let out a long sigh. Something in that room had felt tense. Fraught. It had made her want to get away as soon as possible.

And yet, it also made her insanely curious about what was happening in that room.

Bei activated her Omni-Tool and indicated to the other staff that she was going to take lunch. Then she stepped into the elevator and punched in the codes for the Special Observation Room.

"Packet," Dr. Melfisa said, addressing the hospital's VI from the comfort of an Observation Cubicle, "give me vid and voice for Level 17, Room 32."

"Yes, Doctor," replied an electronic voice, and a virtual screen popped up in front of her. "Zoom on subjects," she commanded. The image before her eyes enlarged until it was just Shepard and Cortez.

"—always believed you could do it. If anyone could save us, it was you. And you did. And then, you did one better, and lived through it." Cortez put his hand on Shepard's wrist. "I never stopped believing. Even when the husks were on me, I was thinking, 'At least Shepard will make it.' ...A pinkie flex? What does a pinkie mean?"

"H-hold," Shepard rasped.

"Hold? Do you want this?" Cortez lightly interlaced his fingers with Shepard's left. The Commander curled his right index finger. "Yes?"

Steven Cortez smiled for the second time that Bei had ever seen. "I can feel all of your fingers pressing. That's better than what the doctor told me before I got here. You're going to recover so fast. I just know it, Commander." And then his voice began to break. "You are the strongest person I know. I don't think there's anything or anyone that can get the best of you, Shepard."

"You."

Cortez looked away. "Don't say that. You swept _me_ off _my_ feet. No, it's more like you pulled me into your orbit. I don't know what I did to even attract your attention. But I count myself lucky."

They sat there silently for a time. Bei was just about to shut down her surveillance—she was beginning to feel a bit guilty about the whole spying thing—when Cortez said, "I know that I probably shouldn't be saying this, but sometimes it seems like everything that happened before was the peace, and this right now is the war. Yes, it was dangerous out there, and we had some close calls, not to mention all of the destruction that was happening planetside. But at the same time there were quiet moments. All the time waiting between destinations, all the time when it was just you and me and the darkness. Here, though, there's doctors running, injured folks getting rushed in for operations, the smells, the sickness, and all this death. Everywhere."

He brought his head down on Shepard's shoulder. "Do you mind if I do this?" he asked. Shepard squeezed the hand he held. "...Thank you. Just for a minute. I'm not going to be a burden on you, Shepard. The world has already asked so much from you. I won't ask any more. I won't do that to you. ...I can feel that. Don't tell me 'no.' I said I won't do that to you, and I won't."

He settled deeper into Shepard's shoulder. "When I spoke to you on the com, I already wasn't doing so well. I'd gotten banged up in the crash, and I was limping. I'd met up with a couple other soldiers and made it to a small camp to the south, where the medic pronounced me fit to hold a weapon. They needed anyone and everyone, at that point. Then you called, and almost right after that, the Reaper assault redoubled. I was right there with the others, trading fire, but there were so many of them. Every once in a while there'd be a husk wave, and some would slip through and we'd have to melee with them. And then suddenly the front line was down, and when the husks came, they all got through. I had three on me. I ripped one off, and someone shot the one on my left side, but then... fortunately, I don't remember a lot of it. And the next thing I knew, people were shouting that we'd won, and I was being carried off in a stretcher, and... that _thing_ had... chewed my leg off. Part of it anyway. They took off the rest this morning."

Cortez straightened up and looked into Shepard's face, saw the bare horror there. "I should go," he said quickly. He dropped Shepard's hand and grabbed for the wheels of his chair.

"Ssstayy," said Shepard, his voice so tiny and fragile that the surveillance mic almost didn't pick it up.

Cortez stopped. He still would not look Shepard in the eyes, only at the hands in his lap. "Tell me the truth, Shepard. Do you really want me here, right now?"

Shepard squeezed his right trigger finger.

"OK," said Cortez. He brought his face near Shepard's. Hesitated. Came closer. Hesitated again. Pressed his lips to Shepard's. Withdrew. Kissed him again. And again. Said, "I'll stay until they kick me out, Commander."

* * *

Bei watched them until it was time to go back on shift.

Bei auto-keyed into her apartment and called out, "Liz! Liz, are you home?"

"In the bedroom," her wife called back.

Bei came into the bedroom and flopped down on the bed, next to where Liz was lying. "You tired, babe?" Liz asked.

"Mortally exhausted," Bei answered. "What a day. You?"

"Same," Liz answered. "I always thought peace would be more... peaceful."

"What happened this time?"

"The bread trucks were late today, and it was making people antsy. So when they finally showed up, people started fighting over the rations. It was just a mess."

"Oh, Goddess. How many were hurt?"

"A dozen injured. No fatalities today, but only because the Major ordered us to tear gas them."

"Goddess," Bei repeated.

"I shouldn't be doing this goddamned job," said Liz. "Every day I find myself agreeing more with the protesters. We're not 'peacekeepers,' we're soldiers." She sighed and closed her eyes. "What a miserable day."

Bei pulled herself closer, until she was resting her head on Liz's shoulder. "They'll get proper police in there soon, and then you can just rest for a while," she said, though she wasn't sure how much she really believed it.

"I hope you're right," said Liz, nuzzling Bei's forehead. "Tell me about your day."

"I'm worried about one of my patients. Newly-disabled vet, wheelchair-bound until he can get a prosthetic, which production is going to be backed up on for years to come... No next-of-kin."

"Is he going to have to stay in one of those camps?"

"They're not 'camps.' They're state-run, they have licensed nurses..."

"They're crowded, and there isn't enough food."

"Baby, I know that," said Bei. "I just have to think that it's better than being on the street. If I don't believe my patients have something waiting for them after the hospital, I'll stop being able to do my job."

"Of course. Sorry. So he's in a wheelchair _and_ he has severe head trauma?

"What? Oh. He didn't have a brain injury. He's, uh, not actually technically one of _my_ patients. Remember how I was tracking down one of Commander Shepard's crew? Thank you again for your help with that, by the way."

"Anything for you," said Liz, kissing the top of Bei's head. "So you found the guy?"

"I did! And I brought him in."

"And?"

"And... There was a lot of kissing."

Liz gaped, the corners of her mouth upturned. "You found the Commander's boyfriend?!"

"I knew you would be scandalized! What is it about you humans that makes you find same-gender relationships so salacious?"

"Bei, I'm not scandalized. I'm proud of you! ...OK, I'm maybe a little bit scandalized. I admit, the idea of the big strong Intergalactic Defender Guy having a boyfriend just tickles me, in a way that a girlfriend wouldn't. I guess it's old reptile-brain gender role stuff."

"Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be a member of a species with males," said Bei, sighing and snuggling closer to her wife. Tomorrow they both had the day off, which they would hopefully spend indoors and under the covers, hidden away from the endless disaster zone that Earth had become.

"Wait, Bei... Does that mean you were... _spying_?"

* * *

Bei strode cheerfully into Commander Shepard's room the morning after her day off. "Good morning, Commander. How are you today?"

"Good," rasped Shepard.

Bei smiled at him. "Your recovery is going swimmingly, according to the charts. Did you see the Lieutenant again yesterday?" That Commander Shepard and Lieutenant Cortez were an item was not a secret between them. Not after Bei had walked in on them nose-to-nose the day before yesterday.

In response, Shepard nodded. Another good sign for his neck muscles.

A light flashed on his wrist, indicating a message to his private V-mail address. "Mr. Popular. You probably have a huge backlog of unread mail. Would you like to borrow a view screen?" Shepard nodded again, and Bei brought him a thin, plastic-encased flat panel, about the size of a dinner tray, with handles on either side. Bei took one; she directed Shepard's left hand to the other so that his Omni-Tool could sync.

Bei tapped the Mail icon that appeared onscreen. "You really are Mr. Popular! Who in the universe needs six separate mailing addresses?" All six addresses blinked, indicating unread messages. "OK, which one do you want to check first?"

"Four," Shepard whispered.

Bei tapped the fourth address from the top. Inside, there was just one message, a vid.

"Shall I?"

Shepard nodded. Bei tapped, and the video started.

_"Good morning, Commander. It's about four a.m. I wanted to come by in person, but your nurses said you weren't to be disturbed."_

Cortez's eyes were red, and there were deep lines of exhaustion around them. He rubbed at the corner of one with a knuckle and continued.

_"To make a long story short, a lot of injured people just arrived, and the hospital doesn't have room for me anymore. And since I don't have any family to be released to... Well, there are a lot of people in the same situation as me. The Alliance is sending us all to various housing facilities for now. I'm going to one in Beijing, so... I won't be able to see you for a little while. It's just temporary, until I can navigate things on my own a better. So, I'm going to focus on getting to that point, and I want you to focus on recovering. No excuses, Commander, you're going to get better..."_ His voice wavered, and he looked away. _"...And then, if you still want me, I'm here."_

Cortez took a deep breath and looked back at the screen. _"Because I love you."_ Then his hand reached for the vid controls. _"Cortez out."_

Bei had only vaguely been watching the video screen. Mostly, she'd been looking for Shepard's reactions. As for what she saw now, she could only call it 'stricken.'

"Alone," he whispered.

"You want me to leave you alone? I can do that."

"No. No. We're all—" he coughed hard, and Bei put a steadying hand on his shoulder—"alone."

Bei couldn't believe her ears. How could Commander Shepard, who had brought the whole universe together—through brilliant inspiration or brutal force, depending on who was telling the story—say this now?

For the first time, Bei became really curious about what had happened when the Crucible was activated. But that was not the right thing to talk about just then.

"Beijing is less than two hours by jet," she said instead. "He's probably getting settled in already. You should send him a message." When the Commander hesitated, she clicked her tongue. "In times like these, 'no reply' is as good as 'no.' Are you telling me you don't want to see him again?"

He clenched his left hand. A clear no.

"Then you get on vid, and you tell that man you want him."

"Love," corrected Shepard. "Love."


	3. Chapter 3

"Anything else I should tell them?" Bei asked from her desk.

"Tell Garrus 'I told you so.' No, scratch that. Tell him 'good luck.'" The Commander's voice was thin and gravelly, but at least he was talking.

It had been two weeks since Shepard had awoken, and much had happened in that time. The mass relays had started working again, on their own. Scientists could only shrug and theorize at a self-reboot mechanism. As a direct result, Alliance supply lines had improved somewhat, and yet the riots on Earth—and other war-torn planets—were only picking up steam. Meanwhile, Garrus Vakarian had been named the next Turian primarch, after Victus' unsurprising resignation. And the Normandy, under the command of Major Kaidan Alenko, had been traveling from system to system, acting as a flagship of Alliance goodwill. The ship's presence was a symbol that Earth recognized her debts and would repay them when she could.

But now it was time to come home.

Bei finished typing out the Commander's message. She knew that her boss probably wouldn't approve of her playing secretary on her lunch breaks, but she couldn't help herself. These days, the cafeteria only made her lose her appetite. Here in Patient Room 32, however, she felt a little at peace. She was happy to do a little clerical work for Commander Shepard; she even felt honored, to be allowed such a glimpse into his private life.

This, she supposed, was how the Commander made everyone feel: a little bit righter in purpose, a little bit more special than before. Bei knew that Shepard was N7 and a Spectre, and she had no doubt that he was a brilliant soldier. But this, she thought, was his true gift: the way he was with people.

"Sent," she said. "Are you excited to see them again?"

"Very," said Shepard. "But," he coughed, "not the same without everyone."

Bei frowned. The Commander's lungs had taken a lot of damage in the Crucible incident. As a result, they were slowly filling up with fluid and had to be drained once every few days. She flipped open her omni-tool and scheduled a lung checkup for him in a couple of hours.

"You ever stop working?" Shepard asked.

"I like to keep busy. Keeps me from thinking too much," Bei answered.

"Steve is... was... just like that."

"Have you heard from the Lieutenant lately?" asked Bei.

Shepard shook his head. "Tried to call. Network jam. Again."

"Everyone's feeling the com pinch, even here in the hospital," Bei agreed. "We're finally receiving shipments again, but without com links up, it's almost impossible to coordinate delivery. Anyway, don't worry. When the networks are working again, I'm sure you'll hear from him, first thing."

"You have... anybody special?"

"A wife," said Bei. "Second marriage for me. I outlived the first," she added a little ruefully. Then an alarm went off on her omni-tool, and she knitted her brows. "Sorry, but my lunch break is up. Your physical therapist will be coming by at fifteen-fifteen. I'll drop in again before my shift is over."

"Try to take it easy," Shepard said as she left.

* * *

That night, when Bei got back to her apartment, Liz wasn't there. She called, but only got the standard _We're sorry, but our communications network is over-capacity at the moment. Please try your call again later. If this is an emergency..._

She stayed up all night waiting.

* * *

Red-eyed, Bei walked into Commander Shepard's room and was taken aback to see a woman at his bedside. "H-hello," she said, quickly checking her omni-tool and seeing that, yes, a guest visit had been approved for right now. How had she missed that on morning review? _The Director is right. I shouldn't be here today,_ thought Bei.

The guest rose, extending a handshake. "Kahlee Sanders, Grissom Academy. The Commander saved a lot of my students' lives."

"Bei Melfisa, Chief of Neurotrauma. I hope I'm not interrupting anything." Bei shook Kahlee's hand with a tremble.

"Just stopped by to reminisce about an old friend," said Kahlee with a sigh. Then she summoned up a smile. "This one hasn't tried to escape yet, has he?" She motioned to Shepard.

"Yet?" Bei asked humorlessly.

Shepard finally spoke. "You alright?" He was looking at her still-trembling hands.

"Apparently not. They're sending me home after I make morning rounds," confessed Bei.

"What's wrong?" When Bei said nothing, Shepard pressed her further. "Open up to me, Doc. I've opened up to you. Literally."

He startled a laugh out of Bei, which quickly turned into a broken sob. "It's my wife," she said. "She's Alliance military. Was reassigned to peacekeeping. She didn't come home last night—I don't know where she is. I tried to file a formal request with the military but it seems like they can barely find their own asses these days... No offense, Commander."

"None taken," he said, then coughed. "I get it. You should... look for her."

"Me?" Bei asked. "Where would I even start? Besides, I don't think the Alliance would appreciate us military wives running around and getting in the way."

"I've been keeping up with the news here," Kahlee interjected, "and it seems like Earth's chain of command is in a state of organized chaos. Normally, I wouldn't advocate you taking matters into your own hands, but..."

"What's her name? I'll ask," Shepard offered.

"Elizabeth Pierce. We kept our names separate," said Bei.

Shepard nodded. "Just know... If I could walk," he wheezed, "I wouldn't wait. I'd be in China by now."

"Thank you, Commander," said Bei. "It was nice to meet you, Ms. Sanders."

"You too, Doctor."

Bei exited the room with her head bowed low. Before the doors closed, she heard Kahlee Sanders ask, "So, what's in China?"

* * *

Once upon a time, Bei would have taken the Underground to get to Downtown II, where she knew Liz was stationed. Workers had cleared out a few of the cave-ins and made some repairs, but the subway system was not going to be up and running for some time. There was some talk that the city should just forget the outdated Underground and take the opportunity to build a more modern "sky rail" instead. In the meantime, however, there was no subway, and no shuttles; cab drivers refused to go that far into decimated territory. Bei was going there on foot.

She had forgotten to bring gloves, so Bei shoved her fingers into her pockets as protection from the December cold. Her legs ached, and she had so little wherewithal that once, she nearly walked into traffic. Bei tried to keep her mind restricted to ten feet in front of her, but it kept wandering into awful places. She imagined Liz with a gun at her back. She imagined Liz gasping for her last breath while a bullet bore into her chest. She imagined Liz trying to call her for one final goodbye, only to hear _We're sorry, but our communications network is over-capacity..._

She needed to think about something else, but the only other thought that really captured her attention was how damn unfair it all was. The war was supposed to be over. Organic life was supposed to have won. But what lives could she say were 'winning' at the moment? She thought about the shuttle pilot with the missing leg, and what she'd read on his family's medical history. Father, deceased, chronic illness. Mother, deceased, complications from routine surgery. Husband, deceased, military operation. Like breaking the bone before it had quite healed all the way, again and again. And now he'd been shunted off to a pre-fab in Asia where they were sticking all the disabled vets with no families. Did he 'win'?

_That's only looking at half of it,_ said a quiet voice in the back of her mind. _He's got the Commander._

That's right, the Commander. "A born soldier," they said of him. Someone who was ready for death, ready for his friends' deaths. Expected it, even. What he never saw coming was the slow fade that awaited him in his hospital room, away from everyone who mattered to him. He wouldn't have another adventure. He wouldn't even be able to run up a flight of stairs.

He did not 'win,' either.

She spared a thought for her own life, one that she wasn't feeling very proud of at the moment. She never fought the Reapers, never could have defended anyone. Her late Turian husband would have fought, had he lived in this era. Her wife had served, and had the scars to prove it. Bei could diagnose certain illnesses better than a VI and perform surgeries so delicate that the slightest mistake would mean the patient's death, and before the Reaper War she thought that was enough. Now, she'd come to realize how little was up to a doctor, and how much was up to the Goddess.

As dark as Bei's thoughts had become, agonizing over her own insignificance did its job: it distracted her from agonizing over why Liz hadn't come home.

* * *

Downtown II was once home to some of the world's tallest buildings. Now it was the London Ground Zero Memorial.

Bei suddenly felt embarrassed of her bright red coat. Everyone else here was dressed in somber colors; they had come to mourn those lost. Nothing was left of this center of commerce and art except scorched pavement and the exposed foundations of former towers. Bei looked around for a familiar landmark but found she could not tell the ruins apart from each other.

As she got closer she could hear the commotion. Not in the hollow place where the Yggdrasil Building had once stood and where flowers and pictures were set out now, but a few streets away, from the general direction of Elkoss Square. Bei broke into a run.

A living sea of protesters had amassed there. Most of them were human, but many were exogenous species, at a greater percentage than Earth's general population. As Bei got closer, she could see the signs they were carrying, made of nailed-together debris and painted with slogans: "Alliance LIES!," "Time For A New Era," and "FREE SHEPARD!" There were virtual signs, too, projected by glowing omni-tools, but they were harder to read, and Bei wasn't here for them.

She edged through the crowd, pushing her way to the line of Alliance soldiers with their backs to the largest mostly-intact building in the city. They stood impassively, making no eye contact, not even when a Krogan started shouting in a female soldier's face. Did Liz have to endure that kind of abuse every day?

"Excuse me!" Bei shouted over the din once she got close. "I'm not a protester. I'm looking for my wife, Liz. Elizabeth Pierce? She's in the 105th. She was supposed to be posted here. Do you know her?"

The soldier she'd been shouting at did not respond. She immediately felt stupid. Of course, Shepard and his friend had advised her to act—they were the sort of people whose actions meant something. But Bei was powerless, and a fool to think that anyone would listen to her.

Then another soldier turned his head. "Get over here!" he called to Bei. As soon as he could, he pulled her over and out of the crowd's reach. His fellow soldiers closed ranks around them. They were protected, for now. It was almost private.

"You're Liz's wife?" he asked.

"Yes. My name is Bei. What's going on here?" She still had to shout in order to be heard.

"You mean, why are they protesting? I don't know. I think they're all here for different reasons, right?"

"Is Liz here?"

"No—but she's OK."

Bei's eyes began to well up with tears. _She's OK._ Bei repeated the words to herself. It was worth it, coming out here. Now all she needed to do is figure out where Liz had gone off to.

Then the soldier said the words that would make Bei's stomach plummet:

"Our C.O. threw her in the brig."


End file.
